It feels better. Better enough that I feel like doing something foolish, like going to the gym. However, I promised the D.O. that I’d hold off until I saw him again. You see, I’m a foolish, foolish person and I can’t be trusted to have any common sense. However, I am clever enough to ask the D.O. to make an adult decision for me and I am actually following his suggestion.

I keep getting emails telling me to come visit the gym even if I’m unable to work out, but I’ve been holed up either with cramps in my back or with my stack of Michael Connelly mysteries. Harry Bosch mysteries, for those in the know. I’ve read four of them in the past week, I think. I have four more in the mail to me from Amazon marketplace, but right now I’m out. So now I have no real excuse for my hermit-like ways. Well, besides that my mom will be back home tomorrow from her trip to Japan and I should probably be home for that.

One of the more sobering things about this blog is the realization that hardly anyone reads it. Or so the WordPress stats say. The funny thing is, 34 people got here from my sister’s blog but there’s no views on my newest post? Something is fishy. My highest rated post is one complaining about a dating spam I got. And look at the “Search engine terms” that are supposed to be coming to my page:

• gay gym stories (two days in a row)
• how much am i supposed to weigh?
• closing key bank account
• menace to society brigham young
• raising my right leg makes my lower back

It just makes me feel sorry for anyone looking for any of those things and finding all the blathering going on here. Sure I used all those terms in my posts, but without providing any worthwhile suggestions.

Oh, and I did sign up for a new dating site a couple of weeks ago: Nerve.com. The site is so broken that I can’t get past the sign-up page. Apparently I got a free premium account but no credit for it. Today I got a reminder that I had an account, and instead of a proper link, they sent me a directory listing of their local hard drive. Genius.

The last two days the Flexeril hasn’t been helping much. It has relaxed my muscles and my brain but my back still hurt. It went from being an intermittent sharp pain to an almost constant soreness. In any case, it didn’t seem to be an improvement. My guess is that it was keeping me in bed for at least 10 hours and being in bed too long is something that always seems to make my back a little sore. So the Flexeril is going on the shelf with the other medications I don’t take. Back to the Advil for me.

I didn’t do all that much this weekend. Probably read two books and sat around otherwise. Didn’t hurt myself any worse, so I can probably call this a successful weekend, even though sitting around isn’t helping with my weight loss at all. Whatever.

Last night I just ate things that I found around the house. Cashews, string cheese, and some yogurt. Tonight I’m trying to get myself to go BUY something, even if it’s just another Jack-In-The-Box salad. I finally have to admit that the closest I got to cooking lately is opening the salad dressing and pouring it over the salad, and I don’t always use salad dressing. I even bought an egg steaming gadget because I don’t want to be bothered with boiling eggs. Man, that’s some avoidance of cooking.

The only interesting thing I did today was have breakfast with my sister and her running buddies. I was still a bit goofy from the Flexeril, but the advantage to hanging out with runners after their run is that they’re a bit goofy and not exactly well dressed or kempt. Now is kempt the opposite of unkempt?

I also figured that one way of getting rid of the Flexeril is to diffuse it out by drinking a lot of water. Whee.

This stuff is supposed to make you tired and I was sleepy all day. Of course, it’s cold and rainy and that makes me sleepy as well. My back still hurts but boy did I sleep last night. I woke up with my right wrist hurting and I wonder if I didn’t just sleep on it all night long and not notice until I finally got up.

Hmm, having trouble thinking of anything else to write about. I’ll blame it on the Flexeril. I’ll write a sentence and then wonder where I was going with my thought. This must be an ADD enhancement drug. My brain is pretty skittish to begin with and it hardly needs any help to get distracted. Certainly not pharmacological help.

I knew there was something wrong with my back when the D.O. prescribed Flexeril, a muscle relaxant. I wasn’t expecting him to prescribe anything but stretching. We also found something that always hurts, sitting and lifting my right leg while it’s straight out. Right now, after 3 Advil, I was able to bend over to pick up the newspaper, but I still can’t raise my right leg straight out. I also asked him, since I have no sense at all, if I should avoid the gym for a while, and he told me to do nothing but stretching until I see him next week.

Here’s an example of having no sense. My co-worker Eric wanted to go to Helvetia Tavern for hamburgers a couple of weeks ago and I was able to have a chicken sandwich instead of a cheeseburger. But all it took was for him to say, “What the hell? It’s Friday,” for me to end up with a pile of onion rings as well.

Speaking of no sense, I ate a can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew today. My sister bought me some groceries on Sunday and I asked for Progresso Beef Stew because I saw it in the “Zone” book. I guess she wasn’t having much luck finding it. Dinty Moore Beef Stew is kind of salty and nasty and probably as close to dog food as I’m ever going to eat on purpose. I will tell you that when you’re out in the woods camping and everything tastes good, Dinty Moore Beef Stew tastes great. Don’t try this at home. In any case, she got me other stuff that was pretty good but a little salty: Progresso soups and some canned chili. None of it is really matching any kind of diet.

By the way, the gelato fairy came by today (not so much the fairy part). Plus, I went to the gym enough times to put the deal in my favor. Hooray!

I’m not sure if it was just being sick, or the heat, but I wasn’t all that hungry lately. It was nice not having to work real hard at losing some more weight. But, alas, it’s less than a week after our almost 100°F day and it was only 58°F today. Quite a drop in the temperature, and I’m back to craving fried chicken. Ah, well, no one said this would be easy.

My back is feeling a lot better, and maybe the osteopath can tell me something tomorrow. I’m not really expecting all that much (except for him to tell me to keep coming back for more visits) but whatever I can do to get me back on my regular scheduled lameness is good. Especially since all the TV shows are re-runs now. It was nice taking a break from the gym so I could watch all the season finales, but geez, someone died in almost every show I saw. Heck, someone could have died in, “How I Met Your Mother.” What’s up with that?

I think my back is probably feeling better because of the handful of Advil I took. The dosing information on the web just says divide the daily maximum into three our four doses over the day. It’s working. I’m still walking around like an old man but at least I’m not in great pain. I’m going to see an osteopath on Thursday to see what he has to say. Probably to watch it when I’m lifting things into my trunk.

Some lazy <moronic> <fiend> put his <friendly> dog <excrement> in my <friendly> garbage can. Why the <fiend> couldn’t carry it one <friendly> block to the public garbage can is beyond me. The dog <excrement> is now going to sit in my <friendly> garbage can for a <friendly> week and stink it the <fool> up.

It’s not my <friendly> responsibility to take care of you <f riendly> dog <excrement>. You bought the <friendly> dog, you’re responsible for the <friendly> dog you lazy <friend>. <Golly> <dingdong> idiot.

I went to see my massage guy Fred today, and I had to cut things short because I had an appointment with a new acupuncturist. Fred found all sorts of things wrong with my back, and when he cleared those all up he still hadn’t gotten to my S-I joint where my big problem was. The new acupuncturist took 2 1/2 hours on my back but I was still nowhere near fixed. She even saw visible swelling in my lower back. I can’t believe that just putting my golf clubs into my car was such a bad idea.

I certainly was in a bad mood with my sore back and I was stopped by a drunk guy who wanted $500. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. And I’m stupid enough to stop and talk to random people on the street. I guess the best part of my running around was that I didn’t have time for a proper lunch and I ended up having two scoops of gelato.

Now honestly, I’m pretty pissed about having my daily routine so screwed up. Do you realize how hard it is to put out the garbage when you can barely keep yourself upright? But any day with gelato for lunch isn’t all bad. And the acupuncturist was quite attractive. So it wasn’t a complete loss.

The lawn looked awful, so I mowed it. When I was finished, I thought I’d put my golf clubs in my trunk and I THREW OUT MY BACK. What the hell. I finally thought I was over most of my back problems. I’m guessing my back was probably tight from all the lying around I’m doing this weekend, which was a side-effect of all the sleep I was finally getting. But sheesh. Just when I thought I was getting better.

The worst part was walking to the library to put my vote in the ballot box. I guess I could have mailed it, but this way I knew it was in a locked county facility. The whole way there I was holding my back.

I have appointments at both my massage guy and an acupuncturist tomorrow, and the ER doc up the street seems to think it’s all mechanical and requires stretching. (I ran into him walking his dogs.) Let’s hope he’s right.

I left work early on Friday, at about 3:15 or something. When I got home I hit the hay. I think I was asleep from 4 until 7, only waking up after the third political phone call. I turned on my work computer and did some work (answering a customer question, no less) and finished reading my book. I think I finally got to sleep around 12AM.

Since I wasn’t going to the gym, I slept in. I didn’t get up until 10AM, and I was only awake enough to watch TV. Do you know what kind of awful TV is on Saturday morning? I had enough energy to stay up until 2PM, when I fell asleep for a short nap. By short, I mean 4 hours. I slept through three more phone calls (the ring wakes me up but I don’t actually get up) but what finally woke me up is my neighbors. It was in the low 90’s today, so I had the windows open and I thought the neighbors talking was actually someone leaving a message on my answering machine. And now I’m up writing this, right before I go back to bed.

So, instead of my usual 6 hours of sleep, the last two nights I slept 23 hours. And today I’ve slept 14 hours already. I’m guessing that can’t all be the Zyrtec and the heat. I hope I get better soon, but with my luck I’ll be just well enough to go to work on Monday. Hooray.

It takes a lot to jar me out of my usual routine and I didn’t do anything normal for a Thursday today. I got up and my eyes were glued shut with goo, and for the second day I didn’t feel good enough to go to work. But I went anyway because I’m covering for a guy who is on vacation. I’ve heard pink eye is very contagious, but the web didn’t say all that much. I decided if I just work my glasses, I’d probably avoid touching my eyes as much as I usually do when I’m wearing contacts. It worked.

I stayed late because we had a four-hour-long meeting and I needed to do my “real work”. Plus, I knew I didn’t feel up to going to the gym.

And it’s Thursday, CSI night. But I didn’t watch any TV. I read a book.

Oh well, at least I’m still alive to have these weird illnesses. After tomorrow, I can sleep in all weekend. Too bad it’s going to be so hot all weekend. Rainy and cold would be perfect for sleeping in.