I didn’t sleep very well last night. My nose was stuffed up and I kept waking up. I’m pretty sure it’s my cold flaring up again because hay fever usually makes my eyes itchy, too. So I was dragging at work as well. It’s no surprise that I was once again DFL at the gym. It was hot and I was tired. At least I finished.

It’s supposed to be about 90°F tomorrow and in the high 90’s on Friday. I’m not cut out for this heat. I’m sure the southern transplants are fine with the hot weather, but I find it miserable. With my luck I’ll just be hot and sick at the same time. It’s time to declare an emergency and punt the diet for some Slurpees.

I figured some dietary things out BACKWARDS but I still figured them out. I think (if I’m doing my math right) that the SW chicken salad at Mickey D’s actually fits the Zone diet. Also the Fajita chicken Pita at Jack-in-the-Box. This is great news for someone as lazy as me. Unfortunately, that might mean eating at those places more often than I should.

Since I’m telling my story backwards anyway, we somehow ended up at Mickey D’s for lunch today. The guy who we though would complain the most was laughing gleefully because they had KETCHUP ON TAP. It wasn’t a pump, it was a little tap with pressurized ketchup coming out of it. The other guys ate double cheeseburgers (only $1) and other such fine foods, but I had the SW Grilled Chicken Salad. Turns out that’s about what I’m supposed to be eating. I could probably do without all the salt, but the rest of the numbers seemed to add up.

I ended up eating late because when I got home from the gym the sky was filled with those silly birds that go into the school’s chimney. We usually don’t see too many in the spring migration; they’re mostly here in the fall. But today I’d estimate several thousand birds were in the sky. I called all the birders I know (well, two birders I know) and we stood out watching the birds and the Cooper’s hawk that comes to eat the unwary swift. It was great. It was just three of us and then some people we know from the local Audubon society showed up as well. It’s kind of fun to watch the birds without all the hundreds of other people clogging up the neighborhood.

I suppose the whole crossfit thing is to throw yourself at a brick wall until you feel like death. The guys on the main crossfit site seem to want to work until failure all the time. I’m not sure that’s the most sensible thing. I mean, you don’t see other athletes throwing up all the time. The idea is to finish first, not die at the end. So, when someone told me that to take it easy on the rowing part of the workout (1000m rowing followed by 50 thrusters and 30 pullups) I did.

Actually, I think I really figured out what probably helped the most in my workout today. I was sick all weekend, so I slept 8 hours Friday night, 6 hours Saturday afternoon, and then 11 hours Saturday night. Then, after taking it easy all Sunday, I pigged out at my sister’s. So, that’s probably part of it. And coming off of my cold was probably the only reason I was able to take it easy on the row. It was all serendipity.

I suppose the next reasonable thing to do is to start on the Zone diet. I borrowed another book of zone recipes but now I have to find some time to read it. This going to work thing is really getting in the way.

Just in time to start the work week, darn it. I got up late and laid around reading a book most of the day. In fact, I worked up a sweat just playing Mario Cart on the Wii today. I’m not back to 100%. But still, I don’t see any excuse for avoiding work tomorrow. Especially since I’m covering for a guy who’s on vacation.

I had one real meal today, dinner at my sister’s. It was steak she bought online and it was pretty good. My sister is a good cook and of course there were other extras that were also good. I can’t remember what they were and I should probably get to sleep before I forget anything else.

It was about 55°F today and it’s supposed to be 92°F by the end of the week. What the hell?

I woke up this morning with my stomach rumbling and my head stuffed up. It wasn’t until I was up for a while that I finally realized I had caught another cold. Another ruined weekend.

I still made it to the gym but that wasn’t the most foolish thing I did. I also took the sheets off the bed because Saturday is laundry day. That killed my plans to get back from the gym, take a shower, and jump back into bed. I had to settle for the recliner, but I was out for four hours, only getting up to go to the bathroom. My sister finally woke me up at 4:30PM to ask me if I was going to be there for dinner. I had to pass.

So it’s only taken me four hours to eat some Bagel Bites I found in the freezer and to finally finish the laundry. My stomach is in bad shape, my head hurts, but I don’t think 99.2°F is much of a fever. Time to get some more sleep, though. With my luck I’ll get over this in time to go to work on Monday. Hooray.

Usually when I work out a lot, I want to eat all the time. I think I’m usually craving high calorie foods as well, and that means lots of stuff that’s bad for me. But let’s be honest, anything with any flavor is bad for you. Lately, though, I’ve been eating less and getting by with salads. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I hit my head at the gym and I can’t remember it because I hit my head. Nothing hurts, though, so I’m fairly sure that’s not it.

Even my dinner, while not on the “Zone Diet” that’s promoted by Crossfit, wasn’t all that much. I usually don’t like cooking for just myself because I’ve always found a way to hurt myself in the kitchen. Today I had 2 tortillas with peanut butter. It’s space-station astronaut food that I heard about on NPR. Also, you can’t use all that much peanut butter on a tortilla or it gets stuck in your mouth. I had that and a dented up banana, because that’s all you can find late on a Thursday at Trader Joe’s. Oh, and a hard-boiled egg, because boiling water really isn’t cooking, and besides, I bought a egg boiling gadget on Amazon.

Funny how I’m not starving at work, either. I’m not sure this hard-boiled egg and banana diet is going to hold out. Sooner or later I’m going to end up at Jack-in-the-Box talking into the clowns mouth. I suppose you don’t have to do that any more, but WHEN I WAS A KID, YOU HAD TO TALK INTO THE CLOWNS MOUTH IN THE DRIVE-THROUGH. There are rumors that In-N-Out is coming to Portland, but I can’t possibly wait that long.

I went to a Korean hamburger joint today and I had a chicken salad. I figured I might luck out and get something decent like we have in my neighborhood. Bonnie Burgers is about half Asian food and half hamburgers and the grilled chicken they use is pretty good. Unfortunately, the place I went in Hillsboro is mainly a hamburger place and has a bit of other stuff thrown in. The chicken tasted quite processed like it was stuff that came from weird parts of the bird. Sort of like what you hear about hotdogs. In any case, I’m getting a salmon burger next time I go. Unless of course I’ve fallen off the wagon at that point.

So not listening at the gym is probably going to be the end of me. I thought I heard we weren’t doing “Fran” tomorrow, and I made sure I got my knees to my elbows in the exercise called, “Knees to elbows.” It sucked. Turns out that the earlier class isn’t doing “Fran”, but we still are. And here I am, editing my blog like a chump instead of going to sleep early.

Proof of my goofiness from last night.

Note the bright white skin and the protective layer of fat that are used to ward off enemies.

Which reminds me, when I was in Japan a guy told me, “You Kansai people are all alike. Trying to make sure you amuse people.”

I think I was trying to do a pullup at this point, but that doesn’t look quite right now, does it?

Today the workout of the day at the gym was max pullups and max pushups and then 3 minutes of rest. Then we did it again. And again. We did this once before but we had FIVE rounds of this. It only takes about two rounds for my forearms to start hurting. Unfortunately, I wore a t-shirt that I knew was unsuitable for pushups. You see, I’m a big sweater and the t-shirt I wore flops over my mouth when I do pushups. It’s hard to breathe through wet cotton.

So I had to take off my shirt in the middle of the workout and boy did I get comments about how pale I am. Well, I got comments after everyone quit laughing. I carefully maintain this pallor to blind my enemies. Dana the Trainer was laughing so hard she couldn’t do her pushups. She also suggested that I use some of her son’s press-on tattoos next time I pull this sort of stunt. That and a can of ManTan spray-on tan.

My mom left for Japan today and she’ll be gone for three weeks. That means I get to try my dietary experiment with “The Zone”. At least I’ll try it after I figure out what I’m supposed to be doing and after I finish the carnitas that were leftover from the gym party. Nothing better than pork. Unless it’s pork and bacon.

Ha HA! I started messing with my email server and I think I got it finished before midnight. A first for me! Usually I start screwing with my computer and hours later I’m tearing my hair out trying to figure out what I did wrong while wondering when I’m ever going to get to bed. Well, maybe we’ll find out that I didn’t actually “fix” things when I don’t get any email at all.

My timing at the gym appears to be a little off, too. Well, not about everything. I was there when the owner of St. Cupcake was there. Nothing is as attractive as a woman who makes red velvet cupcakes. My sister makes them too, and anyone will tell you she’s much better looking than I am. I know the owner of the cupcake store is married, but who doesn’t want to hang out with cupcake glitterati? It would only be better if there were bacon involved. But really, we were just doing a timed workout today: run around the block and then 21-15-9 reps of dumbbell clean and split jerks, then run around the block again. Believe me it’s hard. I’m getting tired just thinking about it.

In the earlier class I saw people going full-out and look like they were going to throw up from the exertion. On my first time around the block, I stopped to give some people directions to the Lucky Lab pub. Then I was saying hello to people I know from the other gym up the block and I was also chatting with the people I was running with. I again saw the people I gave directions to as I circled around the block and stopped to clarify my directions. I even had to run back because I realized I gave them the wrong street name. All this led to my being behind the Deputy District Attorney (another workout buddy who isn’t a yoot) and having to sprint at the very end of the workout to catch him. I didn’t come in first, but I think we were tied.

My sister will tell you that I talk too much and I talk even more when I’ve been drinking. This may be to my detriment as I end up chatting up people when I’m supposed to be working or working out. I suppose it’s my curse.

Oh, I was told today that we’re doing the “Fran” workout on Thursday. Every time I think about it, I start getting tense and I have to remind myself to breathe.

The weather was quite nice today, in the low 70’s, which is about as hot as a native Oregonian wants it to get. This is also the first nice day that my hay fever wasn’t killing me. This meant I had no excuse to let the grass grow any longer and I spent much of the day doing yardwork. It all still looks like hell, but a little better than when I started. The nice weather also meant that the neighbors started coming out again. I hadn’t seen many of them since last fall unless they were driving by in their cars.

I recall doing some work (the stuff I get paid for) but I was trying to remember what all I was doing that could be construed as “slacking.” I hooked up my Wii again, but I only played one round of “Mario Cart.” I finally remembered that I finished reading another mystery by Michael Connelly. I would have started on the other one I have by him, but I’m missing the book that comes in between the two. Good thing I have Amazon Prime.

So all in all, a lazy Sunday with a little bit of work. I only regained a little weight with all the beer I drank, so I guess I’d call it a success.

Who knew how much fun we could have seeing people from the gym actually wearing real clothes? Not just all gym clothes and stuff? It’s always fun drinking beer and eating guacamole, and extra fun when there’s hidden reserves of pork. (It was in the oven in case you left early and missed it.)

Other than that, Nathan (THH) thinks my graph is off. I could probably do fine making $350,000/year. Also, other people who are close to the other end of the graph think that I’m starting way too low on that end. I may think about it after I sleep off the beer I drank and then hose off my Wii since all the kids (and a retired cardiologist) spent so much time playing it. I just like hearing that it’s not just me, it is a lot of fun. 🙂