I’m trying to decide what my “target weight” should be. I know it’s less than what I have, but not sure how much less. A couple of guys at work are shooting for 20lbs in 20 weeks and they have about 60 pounds on me already, I think. In any case, my ultra-accurate bathroom scale (a relic of the 1960’s) tells me I weigh about a pound less a few hours after dinner. The only thing I’ve been doing in that time is watching TV and moving my mouse around, so I’m figuring I’m getting a really good burn from computer use. OK, so I probably go to the bathroom, but I’d have to lose like a pint of liquid to lose a pound there. Maybe I need a better scale.

I spent a bunch of time trying to make a graph of how many years I’d have to wait for someone lower than my “dateable age” to make it to my “dateable range”. It’s really just about the math, because let’s face it, I’d have to be a lot richer to get anyone that young to go out with me. I work out in the suburbs and a 38YO woman requires a median income of at least $80K/year to pronounce you dateable (from my friend’s Yahoo profile). I kind of figure I’d have to be a multimillionaire to go out with a 18-year-old, so let’s just figure an income about $50,000,000 per year like a Formula One race car driver.

Obviously there’s something wrong with my math because I’d have to make $5,000,000 a year to date a 36-year-old. Or maybe not. Numbers don’t lie.

Well, my computer has crashed once from my graph-making and it’s late. However, I will insert another disturbing graph which shows if I wanted to go out with a 27-year-old, I’d have to wait five years (and make $28,000,000 a year according to graph #1). Yeah, it goes all the way down to 18, but I don’t have that kind of time or make that kind of money (or have that kind of patience to listen to 18-year-olds).