I think I’m supposed to have a series of plans at this point. A plan for my career. A fitness plan. A plan for my further education. A plan for my lackluster romantic life. A plan to make these plans.

But this is America and if it’s not worth doing half-assed, it’s not worth doing at all.

The problem is that bumbling through life you bump up against these people with plans and they’re kind of annoying. Not only that, but they’re probably from the East Coast and went to some Ivy League school and haven’t figured out just why we don’t drive that fast here in Oregon. You only drive fast if you’re trying to get somewhere else. That’s why when Oregonians are driving in Washington, we’re driving really fast, because we know they’re bad drivers and we don’t want to be there. If we stop, we might have to buy something and pay Sales Tax.

No one really wants to be on the highway in L.A., so they’re all driving really fast. Most of Portland is OK, so we’re not driving fast unless we’re on I-205 or US 26 or 82nd Avenue or Foster Road. I’m usually driving fast on the way to work because I really don’t want to be there either.

So this weekend I may just drive around under the speed limit. These three-day weekends are pretty nice because a bunch of people leave and it’s like the Portland of yesteryear. I may even go out and buy a Sno-Cone or an Icee.