I was talking to my sister on my cell phone when I hit a dead spot. So I dialled the technical assistance number to tell them it was foolish to have a dead spot in the middle of town. The first number I called put me through a phone maze and then told me to call a different number. So I called the second number and tried the usual trick of hitting “0” to get an operator. No dice. It told me to listen to all the choices before I could make that selection.

I finally got to an operator and at the end she asked if there was anything else. I told her I wanted to complain about the two phone numbers and the phone maze. She told me to call “611,” which was the first number I tried, the one that made me dial the second number. Then she told me I should have hit “0,” the number that gave me the recording telling me to listen to everything before hitting “0.” And then she told me she couldn’t take complaints about the phone maze. I said, fine, then I’d like to complain that she couldn’t take my complaint. She quickly read her closing script and hung up on me.

And that’s what I get for using a cell phone.