My ma is visiting Japan and she’s bringing back presents. My sister, the favored one, is going to get a fancy digital camera, and I’m getting — wait for it — a pen. I bet I’m going to get a $5 “Hello, Kitty” pen. And from what I hear, the camera was hard to find and had to be purchased at full retail. For a Sony camera, that has to be expensive.

Why do I need a pen when I have the ultimate pen already?