Someone asked how I knew the people at the party tonight. I said, “The porn store.” It was easier than explaining and I was getting close to being the last person at the party: the guy who gets kicked out. I can tell I’m getting old because I’m getting the bum’s rush at 11PM. It was a housewarming party and a lot of my friends aren’t having housewarming parties lately. In fact, many of them are hiring movers rather than asking friends for help. I think we’re all getting old.