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While the sting of the slap is still on my cheek.

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This is the confession of a 42YO loser, who hasn’t been on a date since he was dumped the week before 9/11 (that’s 2001, the real 9/11) who hadn’t kissed a woman since the same week. Well, so that’s a lie. If you remember that I went out with my friend Reid and his 24YO babysitter, I got a little drunk and I stole a kiss from her. Actually stole a second to make sure that the first was as fun as I thought. I am paying the price.

The price of kissing a 24YO is not just the Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease that I probably got from her. The price is not just the dinner that Reid convinced me to buy her, she of the poor luck with men, she of the crashed car, she of the bad luck in general. No, the price of going out with a 24YO — even when you know nothing is going to happen — is to be toyed with and to be tormented in ways you can’t yet imagine.

And the luck is rubbing off as well. First the virus. Then crashy computers. Even the expensive new Mac I took in for repairs last month is making noises like there’s a leaf caught in the exhaust fan. And work scheduled “important” meetings on NFL kickoff night, a night I’ve been waiting for since the end of the last season on February 5. I just hope the bad luck doesn’t continue.

So knowing it was just dinner, I took her to a nice restaurant. Not great, not horrible. A date spot for the yoot, though, from the looks of things. (Sun, it’s where we went when you were last in Portland, so no comments from you.) Afterwards, she wanted me to take her to the strip club where she wants to get a job as a waitress. Still no problem; she’s 24 and I have no idea what kids these days do for money. But at the strip club she PICKS UP SOME GUY. On a night where I thought I was going to spend a lot of money on dinner and get away scot free, she found a way to stick the knife in and twist it.

Well, there you go. My only date in five years. I bet it will be another five until the next. If I live that long.

P.S. This isn’t the only “first date” where the woman I was with picked up another guy. The last time, the woman ended up marrying the other guy.

8 thoughts on “While the sting of the slap is still on my cheek.”

  1. dude. she WANTED you to take her to a STRIP CLUB? she wants to be a “WAITRESS” there. hellooooooooooo where did you find her? Hugh Hefner’s backyard????

    I say no more dating girls you meet through Reid as clearly he’s involved in some strange circles. She was a loser. I wouldn’t even count that as a date. WHO WANTS DATES IF THAT’s WHAT THEY’RE LIKE?

  2. I think you are failing to see the GOOD LUCK in this. I agree with Carolyn, she doesn’t sound like she had a whole lot going for her and luckily, some other guy took her off your hands for you. You got a couple of kisses out of it. You could be stuck dating a strip club waitress. Correction, someone who aspires to be a strip club waitress.

    No offense to any strip club waitresses that may read this blog…

  3. At least you ended up at the strip club. Could have been worse, like wal-mart. Of course, wal-mart sells guns.

  5. Look an female who wants you to take her to a strip club is not some one you want to date. I mean you would have been better off taking your sister’s dog out to dinner. Why don’t you try somehting different, like maybe MySpace? At least I have gotten a few dates off there. Okay, bith guys were losers but at least they were okay losers. And you could find some new friends who will set you up…

  6. you didn’t have to drive her and the other guy home, too, did you?

    bright side: 2 kisses and nudity, that’s more than most guys get on a first date.

  7. strip club…goal:waitress? You should write off the cost of dinner as fumigation expense! Boy are you lucky

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