I started the day out OK, but I was cranky by mid-afternoon. It started with my chili-cheese dog at Superdog. It tasted a bit like curry (cumin?) and there were blue spots on my bun. I couldn’t tell if it was something odd in the chili or if it was mold but the bread looked fresh enough and tasted fine so I just kept going. Then I had to wait for my appointment with the Ophthalmologist.

And while I was waiting, I got a call from the place I used to pack fudge, telling me that the lying sacks of shit at FedEx had returned a birthday present I bought a friend as “undeliverable.” I’m getting ahead of myself. They sent me emails telling me that they tried to deliver, but they told the company that they held the package. My friend, the intended recipient, never saw any door tags and never heard the doorbell ring on the day she worked from home waiting for the package. And the when she went to place they were supposed to be holding it, they didn’t have it. I told the chocolate company that 1) FedEx is boning me, and 2) I don’t trust New Yorkers further than I can throw them.

Then I got to wait some more for the ophthalmologist, who happened to have an emergency appointment that made my appointment 45 minutes late. Turns out my eyes have changed for the better, and I have to get new lenses. Fortunately, stumbling blindly into the optometrist’s office was expected of me, and they just kind of laughed at me.

My pupils were still dilated when I got to the gym. I had to tell THMFIC that I really had gone to the eye doctor and that I wasn’t “tripping balls.” Things look really bright when your pupils are dilated.

Oh, and I had a pleasant conversation with Jay the Contractor about five new windows he’s going to put in which will cost me a small fortune. He also had a cranky day and, oddly enough, we were both laughing about how cranky we both were. Huh.

What are you supposed to do when most of your day involved going to the courthouse and going to the Grand Jury room where everything is secret? And then going home exhausted from the day. It’s even better when you start feeling sick and then that’s it. Time to watch Chuck and House and then it’s time to go to bed. Pretty dull, really. Can’t be helped sometimes.

Yesterday I sat around the house all day and I had a reason to sit around. Not only was I waiting for the car dealer to call back, I was also finishing my mom’s taxes. Today I’m not sure what the hell I did other than watching a bunch of half-hour TV romantic comedies on TV – multiple episodes of Perfect Couples, Traffic Light, and Mad Love. My buddy Greg asked me why the hell was wrong with me (with the romantic comedies, not about the sitting around) and I told him that I’ve found that it’s much easier to watch the TV shows than to actually try to have a romantic relationship. He agreed and he’s been married for eighteen years. Even though I was the best man at the wedding, the only reason I know that is because someone reminded me that Greg’s daughter Bridget just turned seventeen.

Other than that I don’t believe I did much of anything today. At least I know that I prefer not to do much of anything on Sunday.

This morning I was driving to the gym and I hit another car in the parking lot. I haven’t ever had problems pulling into a spot and nothing distracted me. Nothing except it was in the 20’s last night and I was probably colder than I should have been. I really don’t think I did much damage to the other car. I forgot to take a picture, but I remember a scuff on the fender and on the wheel cover. My bumper, however, shattered. I’m guessing that the 20-something degree weather wasn’t great for the plastic.

It looks pretty bad, but that metallic looking thing on the ground is a rubber gasket. Did I mention I was going to drive over to the Toyota dealer today to try to get his ass moving on my new Prius? I actually called the dealer today and he’s so busy that he couldn’t talk. Just my luck.

So other than that I just finished my mom’s taxes today while I waited for the Toyota guy to call back. He promised to call me back, but did tell me he was incredibly busy. Buying a car is never easy and, as an online friend pointed out, nobody calls you back unless you’re buying a high-end car.

And finally, in inappropriate comments of the day, a very attractive gym friend (with a good sense of humor, I didn’t spring this on just anyone) broke up with her fiancée recently. (As an editorial comment, he’s an idiot.) So I asked her about this. “So you’re single now? So this means that the only reason you’re not going out with me is my own personal failings?” Yeah. Like we say, what do engineers use for birth control? Our personalities.

I continue to make poor choices. I was tired after jury duty, but I headed to Grüner anyway because I figured I deserved a nice hamburger. I got home and had to take a nap and the burger sat like a greasy rock in my stomach when I went to the gym. Was it worth it? I’d say yes.

It’s been a long time since I talked about hamburgers and I’d say Grüner definitely has a good burger. It wasn’t one of my top burgers because the patty was on the thin side and they weren’t able to cook it as rare as I would have liked. It came with homemade sweet pickles and pickled onions, and instead of fries they had just a couple of fried mashed potato disks. They noticed they didn’t have it rare, so they gave me a chocolate torte and coffee. Oh, and the homemade ginger soda was incredibly spicy and tasty. While it wasn’t my favorite burger, I think I will go back.

Oh, if I forgot to mention, Tuesday I had a Pork Schnitzelwich at the Tabor food cart downtown. Delicious!

So, the Grand Jury I’m on is only scheduled from 8-12, but of course it ran over today. That’s still only five hours of work. And it just WORE ME OUT. Actually paying attention for that long, listening to things that actually affect people’s lives. Listening to CRAZY-ASS SHIT that I can’t repeat. Hanging out in places with people I stay away from on most days, both the courthouse and public transportation.

Wow. I think I’m going to award myself with a gourmet cheeseburger (but I always think of this and when do it?)

Jury duty again today and I think this is the fifth time I’ve gone. Only one other time did I make it to a courtroom, and I wasn’t selected to be on the jury. This time they called my name for the Grand Jury and I didn’t have any reason to be disqualified, so now I’m stuck for a whole month! So there you have it, I get to see sausage being made.

I had a heck of a time getting to sleep last night. Maybe it was because I was worried about Jury Duty. Who knows? Insomnia is as hard to figure out as what the heart wants. Mine wants cheeseburgers, so I guess it’s harder to figure out insomnia than what the heart wants.

Since I got a new computer a month or so ago (with a faulty Intel motherboard, btw) I figured it was time to rotate out the oldest machine. Turns out the “oldest” machine is also the one that’s accessible from the intarwebs, so you may have noticed some downtime on my sister’s web site. Nobody really looks at mine. Heh. I’m hoping that it’s all working at the moment.

I had a nice, restful three-day weekend. I even was a bit hung over on Sunday morning which was sort of the plan. The real plan was to sleep in as much as possible (it being a three-day weekend and all) and my adolescent antics got me just the right level of hung over so I got the additional sleep.

After eating the great dinner at Belly, I found a bunch of my dad’s old tiny liquor bottle collection. I probably drank little airline-sized bottles of booze that were older than I am. Some were even half-evaporated away. The worst was the Seagrams assortment that I knew I should avoid but drank anyway. Seagrams is generally sickly sweet and extra trouble the next day.

Today I was able to change a light switch, work on my taxes, and destroy my computer. A productive day in a geeky way. Even made it to the gym where we had a partner workout, and my partner tried to kill me by giving me no rest at all. I think he saw that other pairs of people were doing 17 rounds and that was fine until he saw 23 rounds or something. We did 26. I bet they were really ugly.

I don’t keep up with the Groupons (or the Living Social deals or the Sharing Spree deals I have) so I had no idea that two of my coupons were expiring. Being the communist that I am, I have a hard time using Groupons (or other such coupons) for places I’ve already been, especially if it’s a place I like. I figure I should just use them for places I haven’t been. I made an exception for Belly because I’d never been there for dinner and I thought I could actually use the coupon on a date. Did I mention that I wen to NoHos last night and Belly tonight with my mom?

The food was pretty good at NoHos, and great (as I expected from what got at lunch trips) at Belly. I’d go to both again but they’re quite different. NoHos is Hawaiian food and while I certainly have issues with Hawaiians, I can’t say I don’t Hawaiian food. Most of the things I know are quite greasy (spam musubi?) but also incredibly tasty. It was crowded but reasonable, and reminded me of all the issues I have with our 50th state. Did I mention I was engaged twice and the first time, in college, was to a Wellesley woman from Hawaii? Belly was CROWDED (get reservations or have a seat at the bar which always seemed to have spots within 10-15 minutes) but you could order the full dinner menu at the bar. (You can also order the happy hour menu anytime at the bar.).

I suppose the worst for me is that I actually asked the woman I have a big crush on what she was doing this weekend and I wanted to say, ‘Hey, do you want to go to Belly with me and help me spend my Groupon?” but I diverted our conversation into some minutiae about her job and how it affected me next week. It doesn’t matter that I’ve had this crush for over a year because it isn’t supposed to be reasonable. Is anything regarding actual people supposed to make sense?

My stock sold today, so I’m in the market for a Toyota Prius. Why do I want a Prius? Dumb reasons, obviously:

• backup camera – I saw this in Japan and wanted it right away
• quieter ride
• bluetooth hands-free phone – I call my poor sister every time I drive my mom’s car because I can!
• heated leather seats

All pretty silly, but I spend at least an hour a day in the car so why not be more comfortable. There are a couple of things I don’t like about my Honda Civic Hybrid, but really, I’m happy with it. I’d like leather seats, a different color, and a navigation system if I had my druthers. I figure the Prius will have newer and better safety features and how bad can that be?

So the bad idea today was a very small dietary choice. We went to Salvador Molly’s for lunch and they ordered the “Great Balls of Fire” which are habañero corn fritters. I know they’re hot because my buddy Il ate four out of five (you need to eat five to get your picture on their wall) and decided there was no reason to keep going. And he’s Korean and he can eat hot food. I avoid hot foods nowadays, but there was a half of a fritter on the plate so I decided I’d try it. It wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever eaten, but my mouth was immediately in pain. The pain went away after a few minutes, but then I started to sweat. Then I started to sweat a lot. The guys I went with started getting worried about me because I wasn’t looking great, but I knew it would wear off as well. After that I started to feel an odd warmth in my stomach and I’m dreading the final outcome, if you know what I mean. And I broke into a sweat several other times during the day. Very bad idea.

We saw a family come in and they bought two orders (10 fritters). The mom and the 10YO son were smart and were just watching, but the dad ate two and looked AWFUL and the 6YO son had half of one and was laughing about how hot it was. That kid cracked me up.

My day wasn’t that great because I wasn’t in the best of moods for the kinds of questions I was getting. You’re not supposed to answer a question with a question, especially when my question is, “What are you, some kind of moron?” and, “What the hell kind of question is that?” But even worse, a friend emailed me and told me that his sister is in the hospital and not expected to make it out. And sadly, this isn’t the only bad news I’ve heard from friends lately.

Sometimes (more often that I think) I just have to distract myself or find something to cheer myself up. Right now I have Cee Lo Green stuck in my head. I don’t mean to make light of people’s troubles, but I’m just glad that humming obscene songs can help me get through the day.