Oh my dear god does my ass hurt right now. Monday we did front squats. Tuesday we did jump squats and I also did 27 birthday burpees for Matty G. Wednesday I must have done something else, oh yeah, broad jumps. Today was sprinting around the block, deadlifts, Turkish get-ups, and Tabata squats. The question really is, “Why?” I guess I’m supposed to have some sort of fitness goal, but I think my goal is just to effect some sort of self-torture. I am really tired today with what seems to be more than just leg fatigue but I still went kind of hard and I’m still left questioning why. The only answer I can think of is: because I can.

We went to Mash Tun for burger club tonight and it was a fun little brewpub. The tot-chos, Nachos with tater tots instead of chips, were great but the burger wasn’t my favorite. They cooked it as rare as you asked, but the meat was overly seasoned and tasted to me like salty sausage of some sort. Not my favorite sort of pork sausage, either. The bun was great and while I didn’t try any fries, how can you be against any place with tater tots? The beer was tasty as well and I’d go back with little hesitation.

I spend most of my day at work sitting in front of a computer, and when a stupid m*th*rf*ck*ng mistake from McAfee trashes my computer, I’m pretty hosed. And guess what? It pretty much f*ck*d up everyone’s computer at work. Let’s see, that’s probably 10,000 people * 6 hours * $70/hour (using numbers I’ve pulled out of my ass) or $4.2million wasted just at our company. THANK YOU MCAFEE YOU WORTHLESS SONS OF B*TCH*S!

Unlike last Wednesday, my other problems weren’t as big as having to repair my car. I went to buy admission to the food cart extravaganza, but they’re out. I broke a tab on a 160GB hard drive, making it an expensive paperweight. It’s just a spectacular day. One of my friends from the gym thinks that luck is cyclical and balanced, meaning something good is going to happen to me. I’m afraid I’m just using all my luck just to stay alive. Besides, luck is random and life isn’t fair. Time to order my new laptop to make up for it.

I can’t believe how tired I was at the gym. I don’t think I was dragging around, but I did have general muscle fatigue. My legs are tired and I was getting cramps in my lats. Front squats and ball slams on Monday are probably part of my problems, but also doing Matty’s 27 birthday burpees before the workout is probably another. The brains behind the gym told Matty that he wouldn’t be able to find anyone to participate in his madness but she didn’t realize how foolish I truly am.

Just for the fun of it, a picture from the gym.

So there you go. Tired at the gym, birthday dinner for Matty at Pepino’s with way more white people than I’m used to seeing at a Mexican restaurant, and then some Alotta Gelato. Low key, but tasty.

My sister was in the Oregonian, and I know half of the three people who read my blog are here because of my sister so I scanned the pictures and here they are. It took FOREVER because, basically, computers suck.

I know, they’re scaled and the color balance is off. It would have been quicker if I just got out a goddamn crayon and reproduced the effing things by hand so you get what you get. It’s a scan from a frigging newspaper for chrissake.

I’m also very tired from the front squats at the gym, and also from finding out that the bastard who backed into my car not only fucked up the bumper and the grill but also punched a hole in the radiator. I now have fifteen hundred reasons to want to kick someone’s ass, but really I’m not that angry, just annoyed.

The high point of the day was driving Sean to get his new iPad. I got to see him start it up and play with it. I think I want one now. Geez.

I keep looking in the mirror and frightening myself because I don’t recognize the dude with no hair. I remember the first time I did this at MIT, walking down the Infinite Corridor I could feel the heat of the lights on my head. Fortunately it wasn’t real hot or real cold today.

Sean convinced me to go to see Death at a Funeral today. I don’t usually go out to see that many movies and he’d already convinced me to see Kick-Ass on Friday. I guess I’m just getting outside more often lately, probably because I’m alone in the house now that my mom is off in Japan for a month. I am behind on a few things, including watching the TV shows on my DVR and ironing my shirts, but I should be able to squeeze that in later. Heck, I was able to clean the lint out of 10 Concept 2 rowers today. I’m not even sure why I thought I had to do that, but at least it’s finished.

I think I had my final birthday dinner of my birthday week tonight. I started out with a family dinner at Laurelhurst Market, a dinner with gym friends at Metrovino, a dinner with Sean at Veritable Quandry, and another dinner with THMFIC at the gym and other gym friends at Laurelhurst Market. Plus, my friend Sun conspired with my sister to get me a bottle of Ardbeg Single malt scotch, which I’d been looking for but couldn’t find. Who knew you could look up availability online?

Really, though, I’m so stuffed full of beef that I can hardly think. You may not be able to get exactly what you want at Laurelhurst Market, but what they do have is tasty as hell.

One of the guys at the gym is always trying to get me to get my hair cut a lot shorter than I usually have it cut. Today I had it done. Then I also remembered that I started growing it out because my ex-girlfriend from a heck of a long time ago told me to. So off with my head.

The short hair was supposed to make me look more butch. I think it kind of makes me look more foolish. Plus my head is cold.

I got a couple of birthday presents this week, and one of them was some alterations to the front of my car. I only noticed it this afternoon, when I returned to my car as I was leaving work, so I thought it happened then. There are only three places I park and that’s the one that gets the most traffic. But when I got to the gym I found the missing part of my grill out in the street and I knew someone just backed into my car. And didn’t leave a note. Hooray.

Tonight burger club went somewhere WITHOUT burgers, Koi Studio {1}. I had a K-dog (the trucks are always out), Korean Fried Chicken, some sweet potato fries, and a chicken slider. I feel especially full, but I think that’s because the spicy food is trying to eat its way back out. Next time I think I’m going to try a Korean quesadilla.

This is my birthday week and I’ve felt pretty good all week. I was asked by one of my friends (the one who told me I should go out with women I find unattractive because that’s all I was ever going to get at this point) what age of women I could go out with now. Well, the Sex and the City calculation is half your age plus seven, so (46/2)+7 = 30. But I’ve come to find that calculation ONLY WORKS FOR WOMEN. I get all sorts of shit for wanting to go out with younger women (well, 30 is about the limit, really, because too young and I’d just go insane listening to their “Lady Gaga” or some such shit) but all the single women my age are going out with 30-year-old guys. Plus they get all huffy when I use the “C” word (Cougar) and take any enjoyment out of teasing them by being indignant. I mean, really, isn’t that about the only joy I’m going to get out of this?

One of my buddies, a good looking Indian-American dude, told me he’s never asked a woman out. He’s never had to, really, but he’s a shy dude and ti’s worked out for him. I can’t say I’ve never asked a woman out, but my success rate has been pretty poor. At least it’s been within a decade, or 19.6% of my life rather than 100%. How to hide the facts with math, man, it’s an art.

So Apple announced new laptops today and they’re lots faster than the one I have. Or so they say. And I can get a bigger SSD hard drive for a whole lot of money. Yeesh. And here I was thinking I wasn’t even going to get an iPad until my sister started talking about paying for half. I’m going to put it out of my head for at least 6 hours. Just because those 6 hours are sleep hours doesn’t mean anything, right?

Speaking of which, maybe I should get a head start on that already.

It’s a tradition at the gym to do birthday burpees. Perhaps you remember burpees from gym class as squat-thrusts, but there’s an extra pushup added to them, and they suck. Last week I was trying to get a guy to stay at home so I wouldn’t have to do birthday burpees with him but he’s only 26 so that wouldn’t have been so bad, though I wouldn’t have been able to do them straight through. Forty-six of them was awful.

I went out to Metrovino for $5 bubbly/$5 burgers tonight. Thanks to Nurse Tiff for organizing. The guys at Metrovino are incredibly nice and the single-patty Monday burger was delicious. I may have to come back again soon for the double-patty bar burger though. They’re that good. Don’t miss the desserts if you get to Metrovino.

I had other things to say, but it’s already tomorrow, and I have to work. Hooray for that. I hope the birthday burpees wear off by then.

I’ve noticed a lot of the ads I see on match.com (and I reply to almost none of them because no one replies to me) seem to say the top end of the guys they want to go out with is 45. So there you go, another statistical reason not to be on match.com, especially after tomorrow when I turn 46. Besides, match.com sucks.

I spent most of my day reading comic books today. The problem is that there’s always more where they came from. I also started more birthday gluttony by going to Laurelhurst Market for dinner and having the second steak of the weekend. I’m not entirely thrilled about waiting 40 minutes for my dinner, or waiting for the entire party of four to arrive when the restaurant was half-empty, but the food was tasty.

Tomorrow I’m making another trip to Metrovino for dinner. Hooray!

Let me first say that you do not have a constitutional right to be happy. You have a right to pursue happiness. Nor do you have a right to not be annoyed. If you misconstrue something I’ve said to have way more negative meaning than I meant to have, let me know and next time I’ll meet or exceed your expectations.

The plumbing supply keeps calling me to pick up all the stuff I bought. I went down today, waited in line for 20 minutes, and was told they want to deliver all my stuff, especially my tub. THE ONE THING I TOLD THEM I DIDN’T WANT TO PICK UP UNTIL MY CONTRACTOR SAID IT WAS TIME. So I was all set to go pick up the rest of the stuff, a toilet, a sink, a Washlet, etc, but I’ve decided that they can store them for me. If they really want them out of the warehouse, they can deliver them.

It may be hard to see, but that’s a $1135 faucet.

I had a good time watching the UFC fights with friends, but what awful fights. Yeesh. BJ Penn just looked tired and thanks to Anderson Silva for making UFC look like just plain out-and-out drudgery, just like work.